(delivered July 11, 2026)
As we’ve talked about many times, our tradition makes a study and a practice of contradiction. And so it is that in the beautiful summertime, in the midst of beach days, family visits, and spontaneous ice cream cones, we hold some space for soul-searching, and even grief. In the Three Weeks preceding Tisha b’Av, the prevailing emotional tone is one of anguish and regret. The haftarot in these Three Weeks are known collectively as the tlat dePoranuta, the three haftarot of rebuke.
The combination of the mood of rebuke at this time of year, and this week’s teachings about vows, worked a particular spell on me, as I recalled an incident that occurred in my first few months of serving as TAA’s rabbi.
In the spring of 2024, before I even started my official job here, Rabbi Kudan, my predecessor, forwarded me an email from the staff at Camp Ramah about clergy visiting day. A good number of our students were planning to be at camp, and although I didn’t really know them yet, it seemed like a great opportunity to connect. Bright-eyed and full of ambition and desire to serve, I signed up for not one but two clergy visiting days, one for each session. After all, we had students in both sessions and I didn’t want anyone to feel left out. What if I go to one and not the other? Then the kids in session one will resent the kids in session two or vice versa. Well, I thought. No problem. I’ll do both. What could be hard about that? So it’s two hours’ drive each way on a Thursday, big deal!
But as I got used to the rhythm of the week and the challenge and time commitment of composing a Dvar Torah for every Shabbat, as I learned that my personal cadence of work involved writing on Thursday afternoons after a long walk in the sunshine, I got more and more nervous as the time for my first camp visit approached.
In the event, I ended up canceling both visits because I just couldn’t get myself organized well enough to both drive across the state and back and prepare for Shabbat in a way that felt sufficient. Not to mention being away on a Thursday meant that I wouldn’t get to learn with our Torah study group, which is often a critical component of my writing prep.
Of course, on the first day of religious school that year, one of the students, a precocious and delightful person whom I have come to love very much, came up to me and with disappointment in their eyes, said, Rav Naomi I thought you were going to come to visiting day, but you never showed up.
If you had pierced my heart with a rusty dagger, I think it would’ve caused less pain than what I felt for having tried too hard and disappointed one of our students.
It was through that lens that I read the passage in Parshat Matot-Mas’ei dealing with vows. The parsha asks us to consider earnestly what is binding about those promises, and what the consequences of broken vows can be. Chapter 30, verse 3 reads, in part:
כְּכָל־הַיֹּצֵא מִפִּיו יַעֲשֶׂה
All that a person speaks, they must do
This phrase lands as a rebuke, reminding us of times when our words and our expectations of ourselves were overly aspirational. I suspect we can all think of situations when we’ve made a promise with the best of intentions and found ourselves unable to fulfill it. Encountering this teaching in the season of reprimand—as we begin the tender communal process of looking at our deeds—carries a heavy weight.
But if you look at the structure of the season, begadol, you know that as much as our tradition invests deeply in the mourning and grief of Tisha b’Av, we don’t remain there. The three haftarot of rebuke are followed by more than twice as many (seven!) of consolation. All this grief and admonishment is part of a larger process, with an ultimate emphasis on repair rather than reproach. This long arc brings us through the psychological phases we need in order to make teshuvah.
In these Three Weeks approaching Tisha b’Av, we take on traditional practices of mourning. Some observances include no haircuts, no public celebrations, no weddings. We allow the three haftarot of rebuke to permeate the crevices of our lives as we remove the distractions that allow us to ignore our own shortcomings. The grief comes to its fulfillment with the fast day of Tisha b’Av. Then, afterward, in the seven weeks that follow through the course of the month of Elul, we take on self-reflection and return, as time moves inexorably through its cycle.
Reflective Elul takes us into the 10 days of teshuvah (return), as we work deep inside and in our relationships to mend what can be mended.
With Yom Kippur, we let it all go. We release our burdens with the faith that God will forgive us, even for the vows we were not able to keep. Four days later, we go outside and despite all the fragility that life gives us, we rejoice in community—and then, in the wisdom tradition that teaches us to be a community.
I thought of this rhythm deeply over this past week because this past Thursday, I had a chance to make things right. I made arrangements with my Torah study folks for lay leadership, and planned to give less time and energy to the Dvar Torah, so that I could devote the time to be with some of our youngest members on clergy visiting day at camp.
I am happy to share that it was great to see our children joyfully immersed in a Jewish environment without any pressure to conform to the non-Jewish world. I got to visit with our campers (including four whose B’nei Mitzvah I officiated this past year): to spend a little time with them, obviously to take some selfies, and to pass along messages from their families and small gifts from their congregation.
And most blessedly, I had the opportunity to see the student who had been so innocently disappointed in me two years ago; to look them in the eyes and to see how much it meant to them that their rabbi showed up this time.
כל היוצא מפי עשיתי
All that I said I would do, I did
May we all be blessed with such second chances, with a forgiving reception when we try to clean the slate, and with the perspective to see that the cycle of time invites us into reflection so that we can do better by the people who matter to us.