(delivered September 14, 2024)

You’ve probably noticed that my sense of time is not my greatest asset. I sometimes forget to eat lunch, I daven on the slowish side and don’t really like to skip things, and I am occasionally late for appointments, despite my best efforts. We have this whole joke about Jewish Time, but I actually think there’s something to it. Jewish tradition doesn’t tell time by the clock—or doesn’t ONLY tell time by the clock. We tell time through what tunes we sing, so that weekday services sound different from Shabbat services, which in turn sound different from Festival services. We tell time by looking at the sky to see how much of the moon is visible. We tell time through what, how, and when we eat—or don’t. And we tell time through the words we say. 

One obvious example is the siddur and the weekly Torah reading. Just as we don’t say Kabbalat Shabbat on Tuesday; it would feel weird to read, say, Parashat Breishit at Pesach or Parashat Ki Tavo in January. But in addition to the regular texts for regular, non-holiday time, we fold other texts into the mix for different seasons.

For instance: As you probably noticed, we said Psalm 27 this morning as part of Psukei de Zimrah, the opening section of the service. Psalm 27 is associated with the Season of Teshuvah—return—and so it’s traditional in many Jewish spaces to read it every day from Rosh Hodesh Elul through Simchat Torah. 

The overlap of different readings at various times, like different-sized orbits that occasionally synch up, can open up new layers of meaning and raise ideas that take us deep into life’s most essential questions. When this happens, the Torah seems ancient and vast, and simultaneously near enough to put in our pockets. 

It happened to me this week, as a verse from Psalm 27 and a verse from our weekly portion, Ki Tetzei, started a conversation with each other.

In Psalm 27, verse 10 we read:

כִּי־אָבִי וְאִמִּי עֲזָבוּנִי וַיי יַאַסְפֵנִי׃

Though my father and my mother abandon me, Adonai will gather me in.

And in Dvarim, chapter 24, verse 16 we read: 

לֹא־יוּמְתוּ אָבוֹת עַל־בָּנִים וּבָנִים לֹא־יוּמְתוּ עַל־אָבוֹת אִישׁ בְּחֶטְאוֹ יוּמָתוּ׃

Parents shall not be put to death on account of their children,
nor shall children be put to death on account of their parents:
each shall be put to death only for their own crime.

These two different—and, honestly, fairly bleak—visions of parents and children got me thinking about the ways we are responsible for one another across generations. 

Sometimes the answer is easy. When my children were too little to have the capacity to make good decisions—of course I was responsible for them. I tried to teach them as we went, but when it came to things that could be consequential, I knew it was my job to make the right decision because they weren’t yet ready to do so. 

There’s a tradition for a parent to say at their child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah: 

בָּרוּךְ שֶׁפְּטָרַנִי מֵעָנְשׁוֹ שֶל זֶה

Blessed are you for relieving me of this child’s punishment.

In other words, now that my child has attained the age of mitzvot, it’s no longer my role to discipline them. Presumably by taking on the mitzvot, this brand new Jewish adult is capable of disciplining themselves. 

This tracks, then, with the verse from our parashah: once a person reaches halachic maturity, they are accountable for their own crimes. No problem. But given what we know about brain science, it’s probably a rare teenager who actually has this capacity. And sadly, current-day news reports bear this out, as some details of the shooting at Apalachee High School in Georgia begin to emerge. Much of the story is unknown, and may remain so, outside the people who were directly involved. But we do know that authorities decided the shooter’s father was responsible enough for the murders—of two students and two teachers—to be charged with the crime alongside his son. Looking at the photos from the courtroom is heartbreaking. Politics aside, the shooter looks tiny, dwarfed by the judge’s bench and the adult-sized institutional furniture. No doubt he has done something with adult consequences and will have to face up to that, but, in some essential ways, he is a child. And in some essential ways, his parents bear some responsibility. The pasuk from our parashah that says each person is the sole owner of their own crimes is applicable here but incomplete. 

By keeping unsecured guns in the home, by buying the boy a gun as a present and not requiring it to be stored appropriately as a condition of ownership, the parents’ behavior falls under a different category in Jewish thought: לִפְנֵי עִוֵּר לֹא תִתֵּן מִכְשֹׁל—do not place a stumbling block before the blind. A teenager who has been struggling socially and who is already known to police as having talked about school shootings on social media simply should not have unlimited access to firearms. This is a person who needed supervision and didn’t get it. This is a person who needed guidance and didn’t get it. This is a person who, quite possibly, needed mental health care and didn’t get it. Through the lens of Psalm 27, his father and his mother abandoned him, and tragically he snapped before God could gather him in.

We often read about the limits of God’s compassion: in the י״ג מידות—the Thirteen Attributes of God—we have an image of God as compassionate and full of grace, endlessly patient and kind. Yet if we read those words in their original context in chapter 34 of Shmot—the Book of Exodus—it goes on to say that God extends the iniquity of parents onto the third and fourth generations. 

So while ultimately we may all be responsible only for ourselves, our lives are lived entangled with others, always. If we are unlucky, this can result in multi-generational threads of inherited trauma and chaos. And if we are lucky, this can result in happy, healthy lives with wholesome family relationships. Witnessing the suffering that can explode in those unlucky families makes me ever more appreciative of my own luck, and ever more committed to a universalized theory of responsibility, a concept that comes up in Jewish texts, from halacha to Hasidut: 

כָּל יִשְרָאֵל עָרֵבִים זֶה בַּזֶה

All of Israel is responsible, one for another.

We are each other’s guarantors, in ease and hardship, until such time as God gathers us in.

Shabbat shalom!